Where is he?
I shan't ask you politely next time.
Where is Blofeld?
Cai... Cai...
Cairo!
Cards.
Hit me.
One chance.
Where can I find him?
Marie...
Ask Marie.
Who are you?
My name is Bond. James Bond.
Is there something I can do for you?
Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.
There is something I'd like you to get off your chest.
Where is Ernst Stavro Blofeld?
Speak up, darling. I can't hear you.
We now come to phase four: The nose.
In my opinion, the most difficult part of a plastic transformation.
I want the operation done tonight.
- But, seňor... - There's no time left.
But, Seňor Blofeld, this is a most delicate procedure.
Tonight!
Keep the temperature at precisely 80 degrees.
Making mud pies, 007?
He "would" have been me in a matter of days
if you'd given the poor fellow a chance.
Such a pity. I was dying to see how the operation turned out.
Get his gun.
Hold it! Get your hands up.
Kill him!
Welcome to hell, Blofeld.
Star of South Africa.
83.5 carats rough.
47.5 carats cut.
The Akbar Shah. 116 carats rough.
Are you paying attention, 007?
The Akbar Shah, 116 carats rough.
But surely, sir, there's no need to bring in our section
on a relatively simple smuggling matter.
Sir Donald has convinced the PM otherwise.
May I remind you, 007, that Blofeld's dead.
Finished!
The least we can expect from you now is a little plain, solid work.
Good morning, gentlemen.
- Sir Donald will see you now. - Thank you.
Good morning, Sir Donald.
- This is Commander Bond. - How do you do? Please sit down.
- Sherry? - Not for me, thanks. Doctor's orders.
- Commander Bond? - Yes, thank you.
You've been on holiday, I understand.
Relaxing, I hope.
Hardly relaxing but... most satisfying.
Cheers.
Pity about your liver, sir. It's an unusually fine Solera.
- '51, I believe. - There is no year for sherry, 007.
I was referring to the original vintage on which the sherry is based, sir.
1851.
Unmistakable.
Precisely.
Tell me, Commander.
How far does your expertise extend into the field of diamonds?
Hardest substance found in nature. They cut glass. Suggest marriage.
They've replaced a dog as a girl's best friend. That's about it.
Refreshing to hear there's "one" subject you're not an expert on.
Perhaps I'd better give you a brief background into our problem.
Eighty per cent of the world's diamonds come from mines in South Africa.
Most are dug out of shafts of diamond-bearing clay
at depths of up to 3,000 feet.
The whole process, from start to finish, is subject to an airtight security system.
It's an essential precaution,
though the industry prides itself on the loyalty and devotion of its workers.
Naturally the security measures tend to ensure that loyalty,
as do the extensive amenities and social services we provide.
There's a permanent staff of doctors, nurses,
even dentists.
The whole process, from start to finish, is subject to an airtight security system.
It's a necessary precaution,
though the industry prides itself on the loyalty and devotion of its workers.
Next!
The scorpion.
Mother nature's finest killer, Mr Wint.
One is never too old to learn from a master, Mr Kidd.
Dr Tynan? Good evening.
Who are you? And where is Joe?
Joe couldn't make it tonight.
I'm Mr Wint.
This is Mr Kidd.
I see.
What's the matter with him?
It's my wisdom teeth. I haven't had 'em out yet.
Would you mind having a look, Doctor?
Of course.
I'm not going to hurt you. Just open.
No, no. Open wide.
Curious
how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to... die.
- Stop right there! Who are you? - Dr Tynan sent us.
- Why didn't he come himself? - He was taken sick.
Bitten by the bug.
He sent this for you.
If God had wanted man to fly...
He would have given him wings, Mr Kidd.
No security system is perfect.
We've always accepted a percentage of smuggling.
But over the past two years, despite all our precautions, it's gone up alarmingly.
And none of the stones have reached the market.
Sir Donald thinks someone's stockpiling.
Our concern is that someone might dump them on the market to depress prices or...
Make you agree to perpetual blackmail.
Exactly.
What we need to know is
who the stockpilers are.
The letter U
is for umbrella.
We take it lest it rain.
We hope we shan't want it
till we're home again.
Two men to see you, missy.
Gentlemen, Joshua.
I shan't be long, children. Joshua is going to read you a story.
How nice to see you again!
- Where to this time? - Amsterdam.
Amsterdam! Oh, how lovely!
I shall have to bring back some pictures of the canals for the children.
Ask, and ye shall receive, Mrs Whistler.
Thus endeth the lesson for today, gentlemen.
Several recent murders in South Africa have complicated matters.
If they shut down operations before we discover them...
It would be catastrophic for us
and for the government.
- I've always fancied a trip to South Africa. - You're going to Holland.
For some time we've had our eyes on a smuggler - Peter Franks.
He's due to leave for Amsterdam.
Do we know who his contacts are?
We do function in your absence, Commander.
Passport, sir?
Mr Franks. There's a message for you at Passport Control.
That door over there. You can park outside.
Thank you.
Mr Franks...
Your passport is quite in order.
Anyone seeing you in that outfit, Moneypenny,
would certainly be discouraged from leaving the country.
What can I bring you back from Holland?
A diamond?
In a ring?
Would you settle for a tulip?
Yes.
Ahead is one of the oldest bridges in Amsterdam.
The Skinny Bridge.
It was built over 300 years ago
by two sisters who wanted to visit each other every day.
Unfortunately they ran out of money. So that is why it is called the Skinny Bridge.
On your right, those beautiful old houses
can be seen in the paintings of our famous painter, Rembrandt.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
if you will look to your left as we go down the Amstel, you can see...
Mrs Whistler did want some pictures of the canals for the children.
How kind of you, Mr Kidd.
The children will be so thrilled.
Yes?
Franks. Peter Franks.
Come up. Third floor.
Make yourself at home! I'll be out in a minute!
Help yourself to a drink!
Is Mr Case not at home?
There is no Mr Case. The T is for Tiffany.
Tiffany Case?
Definitely distinctive.
I was born there, on the first floor,
while my mother was looking for a wedding ring.
I'm glad for your sake it wasn't Van Cleef and Arpels.
Weren't you a blonde when I came in?
Could be.
I tend to notice little things like that. Whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.
And which do you prefer?
Providing the collars and cuffs match...
We'll talk about that later.
Let me have your glass.
I'll get you some ice.
That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve.
I don't dress for the hired help.
Let's see your passport, Franks.
Occupation: Transport consultant?
That's a little cute, isn't it?
- I'll finish dressing. - Please don't. Not on my account.
I don't care much for redheads. Terrible tempers.
But somehow it seems to suit you.
It's my own.
But it is in need of some soft lighting.
- I know a little restaurant... - I never mix business with pleasure.
- Neither do I. - Good!
Then save the cute remarks until after you get the diamonds into Los Angeles.
- Where are they now? - That's not your problem.
Your problem is getting them in.
- How much is there? - 50,000 carats.
At 142 carats an ounce, that's an awful lot of ice. That won't be easy.
That's why you're being paid 50 grand.
What did you think it was going to be? A pair of earrings?
And, Franks, for God's sakes, come up with something original.
I've got to hand it to you, Q. Quite ingenious.
An obvious little notion. Thought it might come in handy.
M's been trying to get in touch with you. That Peter Franks fellow's escaped.
Killed one of the guards on the way up to London.
Hello?
Hello!
Are you there?
- Yes? - Peter Franks.
Third floor.
- Guten Abend. - Good evening.
Bitte.
- You are English? - Yes, I'm English.
I speak English.
- Who is... your floor? - Three, please.
Is he dead?
I sincerely hope so.
- Who is he? - No idea.
This chap's been following me all day today.
My God!
You've just killed James Bond!
Is that who it was?
It just proves no one's indestructible.
You don't kill James Bond and wait around for the cops to arrive!
We've got to get those diamonds out of here fast!
Where are they?
A little old lady dropped them by yesterday morning.
Priceless.
I think we ought to let Mr Bond carry the load from here on out.
It's funny.
All the things one wanted to say to one's brother... when it's all too late.
Let me assure you of our deepest condolences.
Would you please board the aircraft?
- We were inseparable, you know. - Please, Mr Franks.
Lufthansa announce the departure of flight LH450 to Los Angeles.
Please fasten your seat belts, and no smoking until airborne.
Thank you.
They're both aboard. I must say, Miss Case seems quite attractive.
For a lady.
Lufthansa announce the arrival of flight LH450 from Amsterdam...
- Mr Franks? - Yes.
Follow me to Customs, please.
Peter Franks, Jerry.
Get some lunch, Jerry. I'll take over.
Death certificate, please, Mr Franks.
Well, well, well! Felix Leiter, you old fraud.
On behalf of the CIA, welcome to America.
Someone sent their brain trust down to meet you.
I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body,
but where?
Alimentary, Dr Leiter.
So long, James. Keep in touch.
The rest of your luggage has been cleared, Mr Franks. OK, fellas!
You wanna sit in the front, Mr Franks?
It's a lot smoother ride in the front, Mr Franks.
Yes, I believe I'll sit in front.
The stiff - "deceased" back there.
Your brother, Mr Franks?
Yes, it was.
I got a brudder.
Small world.
Mr Franks, I'm Morton Slumber.
Please accept my heartfelt condolences at this most difficult hour.
He is heading for a better world, Mr Slumber.
There is some consolation in that.
Now then, if we're ready to begin the final journey...
May his soul rest in peace.
Oh, yes. Amen.
If you'd come into my comfortable office, we will bring you the urn.
I'm so happy you chose our half-couch, hinged-panel, slumber-on casket.
I'm sure your brother would have appreciated it.
I'm sure he did.
Please, be seated.
Ashes to ashes...
- Dust to dust. - Exactly.
At a moment like this, I'm sure you'd rather be left alone, for reflection.
Most thoughtful.
We've selected a private niche for your brother in our Garden of Remembrance.
The one with the restful chartreuse curtains and Angel's Breath gold trim.
I hope you'll find everything in order.
The arrangements have been impeccable
so far.
Very... moving.
Heart-warming, Mr Wint.
A glowing tribute, Mr Kidd.
You dirty, double-crossin' limey fink! Those goddamn diamonds are phonies!
No, don't tell me. You're St Peter?
Paste! Glass! Where's the real stuff, Franks?
Where's the real money? You wouldn't burn 50,000 "real" dollars, would you?
One last break. Where are the real diamonds?
You get me the real money
and I'll bring you the real diamonds.
Where do you think you're goin'?
I hear that the Hotel Tropicana is quite comfortable.
My condolences, gentlemen.
Hello, Felix.
Very comfortable. But there's one problem.
I want the real merchandise - rather quickly.
Q has just arrived with it. We'll be up with them in the morning.
So I'd sit tight if I were you. There's no sense in looking for trouble.
Just enjoy yourself, James. I'm sure you know how.
Quite. I'll probably take in a show.
How do you like me so far?
People say I have the body of Rock Hudson.
If he ever finds out what I'm doin' to it, he'll be madder than hell.
I call these girls my Acorns.
Actually, they're a gift from Willard Whyte, who is upstairs right now
playing Monopoly with real buildings.
Tryin' to find Willard Whyte is like tryin' to find a virgin in a maternity ward.
On behalf of the Whyte House, I wanna let you folks know
you've been a lousy audience.
So get lost. See ya later.
Shady Tree!
- Shady, we just adored your act! - What taste, style!
And we have a few suggestions.
Critics and material I don't need! I haven't changed my act in 40 years.
Hold it! Don't go in there.
We didn't get the real diamonds, so we need Tree - alive.
That's most annoying.
- Get down there! - Crap. Boxcar, the loser.
That's it, pussycat. I shot the whole wad.
What do you say? Back to my place?
You're a nice person, Maxie. Really, you are.
Why don't you go and take a nap? And I'll see you next year.
May I have $5,000? No, make it $10,000.
$2,000 limit.
Is there some problem?
Mr Saxby.
Gentleman wants $10,000 credit with a $2,000 limit.
My name is Franks.
Peter Franks.
Mr Franks' credit's good.
- Good luck to you, Mr Franks. - Thank you. I'll have two stacks now.
Give the gentleman 4,000.
Thank you.
Hi! I'm Plenty.
- But of course you are. - Plenty O'Toole.
Named after your father, perhaps?
Would you like some help? On the craps, I mean.
That's very kind of you.
Coming out. Coming out.
Next shooter is a lady. Ladies are lucky. For the lady.
Nine. Mark nine.
Seven, loser. The lucky lady craps out.
New shooter. Your shot, Mr F.
- Willard Whyte speakin'. - Tree is dead. Turn on number two.
It's Peter Franks.
Hard ten. Ten's the number.
I'll take the full odds on the ten. 200 on the hard way.
The limit on all the numbers, 250 on the eleven. Thank you very much.
Say! You've played this game before!
Just once.
- Now what do we do? - Don't bother me with details, Bert!
Just get me the diamonds!
You handle those cubes like a monkey handles coconuts.
Thank you, gentlemen, for such a sterling service.
That's 50,000 dollars!
Minus $5,000 for you... leaves me $45,000, and thank you very much.
It was nothing, really!
You know something, Peter Franks? You're a terrific guy!
A little weird, but a terrific guy!
Why don't we go someplace and have a drink?
A drink?
If you'd like to come in, Plenty.
How pretty! What a super place you have!
Just give me one second, lover.
Good evening.
I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up.
What the hell is this?! A perverts' convention or something?!
You can't do this to me!
Stop that! I've got friends in this town!
Exceptionally fine shot.
I didn't know there was a pool down there.
Let's get down to business. I presume you've come for the real...
The real diamonds.
Good evening, Miss Case.
Sorry about your fulsome friend.
I'll bet you really missed something.
The evening may not be a total loss after all.
Why don't we talk a bit first?
First?
What would you like to talk about?
You pick a subject.
- Diamonds? - Good boy!
And you want to know where they are, and whether I'm working alone or not.
So far, so good. Keep going.
And if not, then with whom.
So you can inform your superiors and...
acquire the diamonds.
Peter!
I'm very impressed.
There's a lot more to you than I had expected.
Presumably I'm the condemned man,
and obviously you're the hearty breakfast.
Right?
You're not going to tell me where the diamonds are, are you?
What diamonds?
Sooner or later you'll have to talk.
They'll make you.
At the very least, you'll never get out of town alive.
I can solve that little problem.
It's lucky for me that I ran into you.
Fifty-fifty split.
You get the diamonds, I get us out.
Us?
I can't very well help you and then stick around.
We could be on a plane and out of the country by tomorrow night.
Rio... Hong Kong...
I know a good tailor in Hong Kong.
Hong Kong.
All right. I'll get the diamonds, you get the plane tickets.
No. The airport's too obvious.
A rented car should do us fine for openers.
That's good thinking.
And since you're the one being watched, I'll get the diamonds, you get the car.
That's very good thinking.
Oh, Peter!
I have a feeling this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship.
Darling...
Where do I pick up the diamonds?
When was the last time you visited a circus?
Circus Circus proudly presents
the Flying Palacios!
- She's in the building. - Right. Stand by.
James, next time, pick a contact point when you're standing up.
- Felix, if she gives your men the slip... - Relax. I have 30 agents down there.
A mouse with sneakers on couldn't get through.
Give Maxwell his cue.
This is Quarterback.
Operation Passover, commence.
Quarterback to Tight End.
Operation Passover, commence.
Roger.
She's on her way. So far, so good.
- Good luck, Felix. I'll see you later. - Where are you going?
The car rental agency.
Our little rendezvous?
You don't actually think she'll show up? That's a thousand-to-one shot.
No, more like even money.
Her devotion to larceny versus my... incomparable charm.
All right, kiddies! Ready? Aim! Fire!
What did I tell you? Didn't I promise you a winner every time?
There you are, young man.
Boys and girls, here we go again. All you have to do is just take your gun...
Here we have a little lady, here we have a little man,
and here we have a big lady.
You're a little out of your league, aren't ya, sister?
Point the gun. You know what to do.
All ready? Get set.
Now hold it till I say go.
Go!
Come on! That's it!
Everybody point right at the clown. A winner every time!
There we are! All right! That's the way to do it!
Look at that! And we have another winner!
Annie Oakley on the end!
Here we are. What an eye! What an eye!
Wait a second! I saw the whole thing!
The machine's fixed! Who's she - your mother?
Blow up your pants!
One win! She only had one win!
You're supposed to have 24 to win that dog!
Will you give it a rest, kid?
All right, boys and girls! Here we go!
Here for the first time, see Zambora, strangest girl ever born to live.
She was captured near Nairobi, south Africa,
and is believed to be part of a cruel, inhuman experiment.
This beautiful girl will be locked into a steel cage,
will change very slowly into a ferocious 450-pound gorilla.
Please be very still, ladies and gentlemen.
We must have absolute silence
so we wouldn't disturb Zambora from her transcendental state.
We must warn you that in every scientific experiment
there's always a danger.
So keep in mind those curtains is an exit.
God forbid something should go wrong over here, get outta here!
Now we start the transformation.
Very dangerous. Very quiet, please.
Wake, my beauty, wake!
Hey, lady, not through there. The other way.
Come on!
- No show? - Felix, don't tell me you lost her?
We lost her.
Nice place you have here.
Take something off. Enjoy the sun.
You've got a lot of guts showing up here!
Letting me freeze my behind off at a blackjack table for two hours
waiting for some nonexistent diamonds!
And what the hell is my black wig doing in the pool?!
- She's... - Dead.
Supposed to be you. The next link in the pipeline.
What are you talking about?
Poor Plenty must have stumbled in here looking for you.
I don't believe you.
A dentist is dead in South Africa. That little old lady in Amsterdam.
Shady got his last night. They've missed me once.
And you're next.
- Now, who's your connection? - You sound like a cop...
- Who's your connection? - All I know is voices on a phone.
They got me this place and told me to wait for further instructions.
You'd find it difficult to hear under water.
- Now, where's the stuff? - Who are you?
You're not a cop and you're not Peter Franks.
You're not the type to turn the other cheek. Where is it?
Eastern Airlines announce the arrival of flight 112 from Los Angeles,
gate 7.
Thank you.
Fill it up, please.
It's Bert Saxby.
Willard Whyte's right-hand man.
Do you see the top? The penthouse?
They say Willard Whyte hasn't set foot out of there in three years.
And no one has seen him - no one.
- How much is that? - Did you pay for this?
Cut him off.
Hey, Curly! What about my stamps?
Where are you going? Are you mad? Let me by!
Stamps? You ain't got no gas yet!
- OK, so shove a coupla gallons in! - Well, back it up.
Keep leaning on that tooter, Charlie, and you'll get a shot in the mouth!
Come on, lady, move it!
OK, lady, you win, you win.
- Will someone move that car?! - Do what he says!
Hey! I wanted high-test!
Forget it, Curly! You had your chance and you blew it!
OK, Professor.
- Hello. - Hi.
- I haven't seen you here before. - I'm Klaus Hergersheimer.
- New here? - I've been here three years. G Section.
How are things in G Section?
Still the same old grind. You know.
Checking radiation shields for replacement.
By the way, where's yours?
I've been waiting a couple of days for you guys to deliver them.
Gee, I'm sorry. You should have given us a phone call.
Look, I've got one here. Lucky for you, I carry spares.
You keep that on. You can't be too careful about radiation.
Absolutely. I feel much safer with this on.
See you around.
Who are you? What do you want?
Klaus Hergersheimer. G Section.
Just... checking on radiation shields.
Now let me see. You are...?
Professor Dr Metz. Our shields are fine!
Now get out!
I'm sorry. It won't take a moment but
I must verify.
Metz. How do you spell it?
M-E... Will you please leave, you irritating man?
Doctor, there's no reason to run down the little people.
G Section may not be as important to the operation as you are,
but we do have our orders.
Dr Metz... Willard Whyte for you.
Right. Out, out.
Hello, WW.
Yes, it's finally here.
Quite enough for completion.
We'll be through shortly.
No. No problems at all.
Right.
- Now will you get out of here?! - Certainly, Doctor.
I've seen everything I need to see.
Thank you very much.
Hi. Sorry to bother you. I'm Klaus Hergersheimer.
G Section.
Checking radiation shields?
There he is! Behind the rock! Come on!
What is this? Amateur night?
Stop him, Harry!
Get him off that machine. That isn't a toy.
Get out of that moon buggy!
It's gone berserk!
Hey, what do you think you're doin'?!
That way!